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Lame Quote of the Day: 10/22/2006 "Baseball fans in Detroit are no doubt anointing Jim Leyland as the greatest manager in history after leading the once woeful Tigers to the World Series. I beg to differ. To me, Leyland will always be a quitter. I base my impression on the one season Leyland spent with the Colorado Rockies."  Jim Spence in the Pueblo Chieftain. (Proof positive that while the worst sportswriters may all be in Colorado, they are all not in Denver. - ed.) More lame quotes...

W-L: 2005: 67-95 (.415)  2004: 68-94  1993: 67-95  Home Attendance 2005/2004: 1,785,677/2,235,635 -20.1%

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Lame Quote of the Year

"I think we are going to win the West", Charlie "Meats" Monfort, owner and CEO of the Rockies, April 4 (Opening Day), 2005.


One more from Charlie "Chuckles" Monfort:

"I know that a lot of teams would like to have the nucleus of players and fan support we have." (Maybe so, but the only Major League team might be Tampa Bay. Most minor league teams above single A would probably stick with what they have. Ed.)

Favorite Names

Terrmel (Sister) Sledge, Padres
Coco Crisp, Red Sox
Milton Bradley, Mariners

Wily Mo Pena, Red Sox

Should George Frazier Go?

Who is George Frazier?
Only if they get someone better.

Votes: 600


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On the Way to the Game:

"Centerfield" by John Fogerty

On the Way Home:

"I Can't Help You Now" by Bonnie Raitt

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If "Dealin'" Dan Had Never Come to Colorado

  • Vinnie Castilla would have continued playing third base. The additional 1,000 to 3,000 Castilla fans that came to every game would have brought in a minimum 1 to 3 million dollars in ticket revenue, with at least that much in additional concession sales.


What do other fans have that Rockies' fans don't?

Click for details...

Winning Teams

Good announcers

Worthwhile Promotions

Good Food

Free Parking

Better Writers

Decent Management


 Your ALT-Text here "A lot of lies. A lot of lies. We have been told this and told that, then nothing was done or the complete opposite was done. There has been a lot of stuff that has happened and said from upstairs that hasn't come true." Larry Walker, as quoted in the Denver Post.

Rockies Trade for Clemens, Giambi
Biggest Deal in Franchise History
April 1, 2005. The Colorado Rockies announced early this morning that they had acquired the services of future Hall of Famers Roger Clemens from Houston and slugger Jason Giambi from the Yankees. Todd Helton, Matt Holiday, Preston Wilson, and Garret Atkins will be sent to the Astros, while pitchers Jeff Francis, Jason Jennings, Shawn Chacon, and Joe Kennedy will be dispatched to New York as part of the deal. The Rockies also agreed to continue paying the salaries of all players involved.

"To heck with the future, we want to win now!" exclaimed Rockies' owner "Meats" Monford.

In related stories, Clemens and Giambi announced their retirements from baseball, effective immediately.

April Fool!

Former Rockies Announcer Admits Steroid Use
Tried to divert attention by accusing Helton.
Wayne Hagin admitted he was only able to announce Rockies games from 1993 through 2003 by getting hopped up on "the juice". "There was no way I could have maintained that level of mindless chatter without massive doses of artificial stimulants. I just didn't have the strength or the brain power without them," the broken pundit sobbed at a hastily-called press conference in St. Louis Monday. He went on to admit that he was still ingesting massive doses of the illegal drug and only accused Rockies' first baseman Todd Helton of doing the same in order to send investigators on a wild goose chase.
When told that Helton said he would never speak to him again, Wayne said "He never said much when he was talking to me anyway," as he offered this reporter a joint (refused, politely). "I couldn't keep it up without this (holding up a baggie of weed), or this!", waving three open bottles of his employer's most popular beverage (Budweiser), freshly plucked from what must have been at least a 100 gallon tub of ice and beer.
"Why do you think I was always talking about the restaurants and hinting that the proprietors should deliver some of their products to the booth? The weed and 'roids give you a terrific appetite", he said, munching on several hot dogs while he licked cheese sauce from the top of a gigantic order of nachos. "A few of these keep me awake and keep the lips flapping too!", the dizzy sportscaster exclaimed as he dumped a half bottle of pills down is craw from a bottle with someone else's name typed on the label.
"So you didn't pay very close attention to the game?" asked a reporter in the back of the room. Hagin threw an unopened bottle of Bud in the general direction of the reporter as he exclaimed in his trademark whiny, high pitched voice: "Game, hell! Half the time we didn't even know who was playing."


Suddenly grown surly, the erratic announcer signalled the end of further dialog with an obscenity-riddled tirade of how the entire free press distorted everything, anyway, apparently forgetting that group included himself.


For those of you who haven't guessed, the above article is an attempt at satire, aimed at directing the same misinformation in the direction of Mr. Hagin that he directed toward Todd Helton earlier this month.

Burnitz Not a Good Fit

December 22, 2003. The Rockies signed Jeremy Burnitz to take the place of Jay Payton as the starting left fielder.
On the positive side, Burnitz has shown power throughout his career, averaging just over 30 homers a year since coming up with the Mets in 1993.
Now for the negative.... Read the rest of the story

Season Ticket Prices Frozen by Rockies for Fifth Straight Year

Remember supply and demand? To refresh your memory, it goes like this:

When the demand for goods exceeds the supply, prices rise until demand drops.

Conversely, when supply exceeds demand, prices drop, thereby stimulating demand.

The goal is for supply to equal demand, resulting in the best return for both buyers and sellers.....

Read the rest of the story

Fire Troy E. Renck!

September 11, 2005. If there is one thing that is ruining baseball in Denver it is sports "writers" at the Denver Post, especially "Humidor Head", better known as Troy E. Renck (we don't know why he insists on including his middle initial, perhaps there is a more famous Troy Renck of whom we have never heard). Click here to see how lame Renck is.

Offering Information
Announcement Letter
Asia Pacific letters
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Latin America letters
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Pueblo must be where they train those Post "sportswriters"

October 18, 2006. While surfing the Internet, we ran across this article by a "writer" for the Pueblo Chieftain, which may or may not be an actual newspaper in Pueblo, Colorado. The Author, a Mr. Mike Spence, apparently has a grudge against former Rockies' manager Jim Leyland. Worse yet, Mr. Spence seems to have a total disdain for the facts and reason itself. As usual, the Baseball Observer is here to provide the real story. Click here.

Johnny Callison - 1939-2006

October 12, 2006. Johnny Callison died today. He was responsible, more than any other player for interesting the Baseball Observer in baseball. There has never been a player like him. For a few glorious years with the Phillies, he was the finest outfielder ever to play the game. No one could throw from right field like he could, and the only thing that stopped him from having more outfield assists than anyone in history was that everyone stopped trying to run on him. But the spirit with which he played the game was what set him apart from all other players before or since. Every time I saw him play, in person or on TV, I couldn't help but feel the same excitement that seemed to radiate from him, culminating in the greatest at bat of his career, hitting the 3-run homerun with two outs in the bottom of ninth to win the 1964 All Star game. To the Baseball Observer, that was the greatest at bat in baseball history, but it should have been expected from the greatest clutch hitter of all time. As all Phillies fans know, that year turned out to be an unspeakable tragedy that deprived Callison and the rest of a great team the World Series they deserved. Those Phils should have been world champs, but they weren't. And Johnny Callison isn't in the Hall of Fame. But he should be.

Rockies Hit A New Low In 19-11 Loss To Dodgers

September 28, 2006. It used to be "Fan Appreciation Day". The last game was always sold out, now it's practically empty. No excitement, no chance to win prizes, and they weren't even marking down 2006 merchandise in the stadium store. Most of the concession stands from previous years are gone, along with the fans that waited in line in front of them. Today wasn't much of a sendoff for Vinnie Castilla, either. In his last home game in a Rockies uniform, Vinnie got a standing ovation and a curtain call, along with an RBI single and a run scored. But, there were none of his old teammates there to send him off, and the video they prepared was so short they had to loop it multiple times to fill the short ceremony between innings. All in all, the Rockies did a terrible job finishing a season that started with such fanfare, and a lousy job of marking the end of a wonderful career. To top it off, they played the worst game this reporter has ever seen. They should be investigated for throwing the three games and making a mediocre Dodger team look like the 1929 Yankees. So, we found one more thing that the Monfort Rockies have no respect for - the integrity of the Game of Baseball. Is it possible for them to sink any lower? Stay tuned.

Fans Have Spoken -- Rockies Won't Listen

September 17, 2006. Rockies fans polled by the Denver Post today made it perfectly clear how they feel about the Rockies' decision to bring back both Manager Clint "Hicksville" Hurdle and General Manager Dan "Dealin' Dan" O'Dowd for the 2007 season. In the poll, 61.4% of the fans voted to replace O'Dowd, while 52.2% recommended that Hurdle be replaced. Only 26.8% want to bring both of them back (the Monforts had their staff calling all night) and 40.5% would like to flush both of them. More proof that Rockies' management doesn't know anything about running a team, and doesn't care what the fans want. Given their record, they would obviously be better off listening to the fans, especially when you consider, as they never do, that companies that don't hear their customers always fold eventually, even monopolies. Meanwhile, the team will finish in last place again, with a slight attendance gain earned by promising the fans that the team would be better this year, and not delivering. This has created even more disgruntled ex-fans, insuring poor attendance in the future. They will have to win all 162 games next year to get attendance to rise. We wonder how many fans would like to replace everyone in the front office from the Monforts on down. 

Kiszla Returns, Worse Than Ever!

August 30, 2006. You remember the worst sportswriter in Denver history, don't you? You should also remember that he promised not to write about the Rockies anymore when he moved to Broncos coverage. Well, he lied. Mark Kiszla couldn't think of anything else to write about last Sunday, so he weighed in on the Rockies' sinking ship, along with those other rates. Click to read his garbage for nostalgia's sake, along with the Observer's brilliant comments, of course.

Colorado Continues to Hang On!

August 14, 2006. The Rockies have managed to avoid bad luck all year, and the streak continues. Their starting pitching has exceed the wildest dreams of everyone. Jennings, Cook, Kim, Frances, and Fogg are keeping the team afloat in spite of an anemic offense and inconsistent relief pitching. The fact that they have all managed to avoid major injuries is equally amazing. All of the other teams in the West have had less luck, with major stars dropping like flies. Ironically, the first place, hot-streaking Dodgers have had the worst of it, losing arguably the best relief pitcher and all-around hitter in baseball, namely Eric Gagne and Nomar Garciaparra.

But, the Rockies can't seem to put together a streak of wins long enough to catch up to whomever is the current leader. They need to make a move soon and get a couple of teams behind them. These next four games with Arizona may make or break the season. So far, it looks like they will win the opener behind a tremendous effort by Frances, if the relief staff doesn't let him down. Stay tuned Rockies fans, it looks like it may be a wild ride.

Should the Rockies Trade Helton?

July 30, 2006. Surprisingly, the Denver Baseball Observer now agrees with the legions of reporters and fans who believe the Rockies should get rid of Helton while he still has some market value, especially if they can do it without assuming the rest of his outrageous salary. Even more of a surprise, it isn't the money, or the recent illness and slump that turned the DBO around, but one play in the first inning of today's game against the first place Padres. These games are important, because another loss to the Padres would put the Rocks 6.5 games back, while a win would put them 4.5 games behind, a two game swing. So, if the team is going to have a chance, they have to make sure they do everything right. As their most experienced player, Todd has to lead the way if they are going to be a winning team. Instead, he plays like a loser, running into an easy out in the first inning. It was a mistake rookies don't make, and the brain-dead announcers didn't even make note of it, showing their total lack of baseball knowledge. In case you didn't see it, Helton came up in the first inning with Clint Barmes on second base with two outs. With the fleet (well, fairly fleet) Barmes running on the pitch, Todd grounded a ball into right field, to weak-armed Terrmel "Sister" Sledge. Sledge picked up the grounder and threw to the cutoff man, standing near the pitcher's mound, who then threw to second, getting the sliding Helton by at least 10 feet. Even if Helton was a rookie, and he didn't know Sledge has a weak arm, and he didn't see Barmes cross the plate, he certainly should have been able to tell that the ball was not hit deep enough and the throw was not going to the plate, and that the cutoff man was in the perfect position to throw him out. Had he stayed at first, they may or may not have scored more runs, but that kind of demoralizing play not only hurts team morale, it sets a bad precedent. In fact, in the second inning, JD Closser wandered too far off first base and was almost doubled off first. He was saved by a bad throw, but then he compounded the error by trying for second on the overthrow, only to be thrown out by former Rockie Josh Bard, who backed up the play. Obviously, the Padres are a well-coached team and the Rockies are not. But even coaching can't explain the actions of Helton and Closser, who have been there long enough to know how the game is played.

But, the good news is, the Rockies took 3 of 4 from the Padres due to some great pitching and are still in the hunt at 4.5 games out.

Tigers Win 70th

July 29, 2006. The Detroit Tigers are the biggest story in sports today, as they won their 70th game and have the best record in baseball. Sadly, it could have been the Rockies instead. The Tigers' manager, you see, is 62 year old Jim Leyland, the same guy the Rockies hired a few years ago, then chased out of town, seemingly putting a dark end to what had been a Hall of Fame career. The Rockies Management brought him in to manage the team in 1999, but refused to give him any input into meaningful decisions, including which players would be on the field. They totally undermined his authority, to the point that the players wouldn't even listen to him. So, he gave us one season of well managed games, the only one in Colorado history, then left town, apparently giving up managing forever. The Rockies proceeded to hire Buddy Bell to manage the team, but he wasn't docile enough, having numerous arguments with General Manager Dan O'Dowd, so they canned him in favor of the ultimate lackey, Clint Hurdle. Hurdle, as everyone knows, agrees with management on everything, just happy to be in a position for which he is totally unqualified. Leyland, on the other hand, was lured back to baseball by Detroit management, some of whom, I believe, are ex-Rockies, with the promise of almost total control over all baseball decisions. He has shown the considerable talent he always exhibited, in bringing along young players and brilliantly managing the team to a 70-33 record with 59 games to go, 8.5 games ahead of the World Champion Chicago White Sox in the AL Central Division. The Tigers were 71-91 last year, one of the worst teams in baseball, before hiring Mr. Leyland. The Baseball Observer wishes to congratulate Mr. Leyland and the Detroit Club and Fans, and wish them well in the playoffs. Wish they were here.

The Vultures are Circling

July 22, 2006. Hopefully, it's only a coincidence, but since the Observer last commented on how brilliant the Rockies were doing, they went into a total collapse, losing 10 of 11 and dropping into last place, 4.5 games out. The local newspapers, after spending the whole season waxing rhapsodic about how great the Rockies were, are now piling on, accusing them of being chokers and too inexperienced to get to the playoffs. Here at the Observer, we are not so meteoric in our coverage. The Rockies have some good talent, a horrible manager and a front office you wouldn't wish on the guy who stole your Barry Bonds rookie card in the fourth grade. They have been playing way over their heads and those chickens are now coming home to roost. They are sort of a poor imitation of the old Montreal Expos - they have managed to put together a talented young team that has overachieved on stupid arrogance and sheer youthful enthusiasm - for a while. It is hard for them now because the grueling season has worn them down and management has not prepared them to rely on good fundamentals when the going gets rough. Lastly, like Montreal, there is no future for these Rockies because the badly managed team will not have the money to retain any of their young stars when they become free agents. Other than that, things are great in Colorado.

The Observer is Back!

July 3, 2006. The Baseball Observer's bad fortune turned out to be fortunate indeed for the home team Rockies. While the Observer was out of action due to circumstances beyond his/her control, the Rockies have been performing a convincing imitation of a Major League Baseball Team. In fact, they are 3 games over .500 and within a half game of the first place Padres in the National League West Division. And, it is almost the All Star Break! Is that amazing, or what?  

The end of Baseball as we know it

April 3, 2006. Opening day is always exciting for the baseball fan. But the game itself is usually the most exciting part of the day. That was not the case at the Rockies' Home Opener today... Click to read the story.

Opening Day, April 3, 2006, the best day of the year!

March 31, 2006. It's almost here, the day every baseball fan in Rocky Mountain Land has been waiting for since last October - The Rockies Home Opener. For this one day, Baseball is King and nothing else matters. The Baseball Observer and his family will be in lower downtown (LoDo) early, brunching at Dixon's Downtown Grill on 16th, followed by a brisk walk up and down the 16th Street Mall to soak up the atmosphere of game day. Then grab a lunch to go at the Cheesecake Factory or Chipotle, and get down to Molson Field before the gates open. If there is time, we'll cruise the baseball exhibits and street merchants in the vicinity, then enter the park and walk around the concourse to see if there have been any changes since last year.

Then it's up to the seats to observe the pre-game festivities. A few years ago, the prelude to the game was fantastic, with big name stars, parades around the gaudily-decorated field, airplanes flying over, thousands of helium balloons released, etc. Nowadays, it is a pretty tame affair, with obscure local businessmen giving speeches and grade school kids screeching a few of those old familiar songs, wrapped up by a half-dozen uniformed military men marching in with flags, followed by some local semi-celebrity crooning the Star Spangled Banner. But nothing will get us down this day, for the sun will be shining (or not), and the sky will blue (or not), and Baseball will be born again in Denver.

Rockies Selected "Best of the Worst" for 2006

December 31, 2005. In  an article entitled "Bottom Feeder Report" in his "Bad Altitude" Blog at, Mark Donohue concluded that the 2006 Rockies were the best of a bad lot. He compared them to the Seattle Mariners, Kansas City Royals, Pittsburgh Pirates, and Tampa Bay Devilrays.

Rats Deserting Sinking Ship

November 6, 2005. Experienced employees from the Colorado Rockies front office don’t seem to share the owner's and General Manager’s unbridled enthusiasm for the future. The best and brightest personnel are leaving for greener pastures, and following Colorado U.S. executive office tradition, they are mostly being replaced by cronies with little if any qualifications for the positions.

Thad Levine left the Rockies, where he was the Senior Director of Baseball Operations, to become Assistant General Manager with the Texas Rangers. Levine, 33, was with the team for 6 years. He is being replaced by Jeff Bridich, 28, who has been with Colorado for less than a year, as Director of Minor League Operations.

Walter Sylvester, 36, has been named to “an assistant post in baseball operations” after working for the team for less than a year with duties described as “analysis of the payroll”.

Jerry DiPoto resigned as the Rockies director of pro scouting and was hired as director of player personnel and professional scouting by the Arizona Diamondbacks. DiPoto himself had little if any experience beyond pitching when he was hired by the Rockies about a year ago, and he will not be replaced, according to the team. Something is fishy about the whole DiPoto deal, however, because the Rockies talked him into moving to the announcer's booth to replace George Frazier before he up and quit. Which is too bad, because even an Arkansas hog caller would be an improvement over Frazier (no offense intended to AK hog callers).

Dan Montgomery, who has worked in scouting with the Rockies since the beginning (which may or may not indicate competence), showed why he was promoted to Assistant Director of Scouting with this concentrated flurry of butt-kissing:

"To make the jump with this organization really means a lot to me. I feel good about this organization, especially because they realize that we have talented people and they do not have to look outside to fill a job. I think that comes from Dan, [club president] Keli McGregor and Charlie and Dick Monfort [chairman/CEO and vice chairman, respectively]. A lot of people have worked together for a long time; we're friends, and we know that the people we have can do the job."

The Baseball Observer has to interject here that nobody who is part of this organization can really lay claim to “doing the job” in light of the overall absence of success and the steep downward trend of the business of late. A more appropriate statement would be “I can’t believe any of us still have jobs, given our total lack of performance since 1993."

Some formula: hire people with no experience in the industry, teach them how you’ve managed to build losing teams and chase away millions of customers for the past five years, then promote them to positions of responsibility. Yeah, that’ll work!

Rockies Minor League Player Honored

November 2, 2005. Matt Miller, a 6'2", 210 lb. outfielder with the Asheville Tourists won the Trautman Award in the South Atlantic League, hitting .330 with 30 homers and 100 RBIs. He was also named Most Valuable Player in the Class A Circuit.

Colorado Ends Worst Season Ever With Win

Cook impressive again in 11-3 victory

October 2, 2005. Aaron Cook looked like a number 1 starter, Clint Barmes and Todd Helton went deep, and Luis Gonzalez went 3 for 5 with two RBI as Generation R brought another nightmarish Colorado baseball season to a close. It's a good thing they are moving to Portland soon, Denver can't take another season like 2005. With a sub-$50 million budget scheduled for next year, the Rockies will probably be worse in 2006. If they stayed in Denver, they could super charge that "humidifier" so that the balls are blocks of ice and set the record for most no-hitters in a stadium for a season. Why not? The Commissioner doesn't seem to care what they do.

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2003 Game Notes

Name the year and games in the Rockies longest losing streak.


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We Couldn't Make This Stuff Up!

March 17, 2003
"The Dreamer"
Rockies Co-Owner Charlie Monfort bet Denver Post hack Mark Kiszla dinner that the Rocks would win at least 90 games in 2003! Only missed it by 16.

"Mad Science"
Rockies' management is actually (according to unreliable sources at the Denver Newspapers) considering building one or more hyperbaric batting cages under Coors Field so that hitters can practice hitting under barometric conditions similar to those at sea level.

"Expecting to Fly"
A quote from Jim Armstrong's Vacuous column in the Sunday, March 16, 2003 Denver Post:
Rangers manager Buck Showalter, recalling a conversation he once had with former Rockies coach Ron Hassey. "He told me: 'One of the worst things that happened to us is we got in the playoffs that first year at Coors Field. A lot of people don't realize it was a strike-shortened season. If we had played a full season, we wouldn't have been in the playoffs. It gave the organization some unrealistic hope.' " ...

More Proof Hurdle is a Buffoon -or- Why the Rockies Don't Win
February 19, 2003. Troy E. Renck reported this Clint Hurdle quote in today's Denver Post: "One of my pet peeves is hearing pitching guys talking about how guys throw in the bullpen. I was a hitting guy for a long time, and I never went in and told the manager that we needed to get a guy in the lineup because he hit well in BP. That dog doesn't hunt with me."

Why the 2003 Rockies are Not Like the 2002 Angels March 28, 2003. The Denver news media, not to mention the Rockies themselves, are spending a lot of time trying to convince fans that Colorado can be successful this year ...

Check out Mudville Magazine. It's Baseball, and it's kind of funny!

  • The 2003 Rockies (74-88) finished in 4th place, 11 games behind LA, 10 games behind AZ, 26.5 games behind SF, 10 games ahead of SD, and 17 games behind Florida in the Wild Card race.

  • Let's see how a SUCCESSFUL businessman runs a baseball team

  • New bonehead play!

  • Radio and TV coverage of the Rockies: how does this year's compare with past?


  • See what ESPN is saying about the Rockies' future...

  • Monfort wants to own the team forever...

  • Rockies new lineup brings hope...

  • BONEHEAD! Everyone tells you when someone makes a great play. What about the other kind..

  • Denver Baseball Coverage Continues Decline

  • New Ex-Rockies

  • October 8, 2003. Jose Jimenez and Chris Richard are gone...

  • Reporting in Denver Falls to a New Low

  • October 6, 2003. Troy Renck, chief baseball hack for the Denver Newspaper Cartel...

  • Ex-Rockies Factor Plays Out in Both Championship Series

  • October 17, 2003. Both participants got to the World Series due to the ERF (Ex-Rockies Factor).

  • The 2005 (And Last) Colorado Rockies

    The roster with The Baseball Observer's Nicknames


    Number Player Position
    62 Marcos "Rule 5" Carvajal RHP
    34 Shawn "Last Chance" Chacon RHP
    47 Scott "Doh!" Dohmann RHP
    26 Jeff "Not Bitter" Francis LHP
    40 Brian "Daisy" "Fuentes LHP
    32 Jason "Jaybird" Jennings RHP
    37 Joe "No Relation" Kennedy LHP
    49 Byung-Hyun "Don't Wake" Kim RHP
    45 Javier "Javy II" Lopez LHP
    51 Allan "Bart" Simpson RHP
    23 Ryan "Nolan" Speier RHP
    16 Jamey "Boomerang" Wright RHP
    7 JD "Just Defense" Closser C
    20 Todd "Jolly" Green C
    15 Alfredo "Freddy" Amezaga SS
    10 Jeff "Hot Bat" Baker 3B
    12 Clint "Budget" Barmes SS
    4 Luis "Speedy" Gonzalez SS
    17 Todd "Pops" Helton 1B
    6 Aaron "4 Minute" Miles 2B
    11 Brad "Bunny" Hawpe OF
    5 Matt "Homerun" Holliday OF
    22 Dustan "Less" Mohr OF
    31 Cory "Surprise" Sullivan OF
    44 Preston "Presto" Wilson OF

    Spring Training 2005

    Colorado Springs 5, Rockies 1

    April 2, 2005. Sky Sox stretch their record to 5-2 against parent club. 

    Rangers 11, Rockies 7

    April 1, 2005.  Rockies finish spring 17-14.

    White Sox 9, Colorado 8

    March 31, 2005.

    Cubs 5, Rockies 4

    March 30, 2005.

    Colorado 4, White Sox 3

    March 29, 2005.

    Colorado 7, Arizona 3

    March 28, 2005. 

    Colorado 3, Oakland 7

    March 27, 2005.  Rockies now 15-11.

    Colorado 7, Chicago Cubs 6

    March 26, 2005. 

    Colorado 5, San Francisco 1

    March 25, 2005. 

    Colorado 1, Arizona 3

    March 24, 2005.  Called after 5 on account of killer bees.

    San Francisco 7, Colorado 5

    March 23, 2005. 

    Seattle 12, Colorado 4

    March 21, 2005. 

    Colorado 6, Kansas City 3

    March 20, 2005. 

    Colorado 4, Oakland 3

    March 19, 2005. 

    Colorado 5, Arizona 2

    March 18, 2005. 

    Arizona 5, Colorado 3

    March 17, 2005.

    Rockies 5, Angels 2

    March 16, 2005.

    Texas 1, Colorado 0

    March 15, 2005.

    Colorado 11, Arizona 8

    March 14, 2005.

    Chicago 9, Rockies 8

    March 13, 2005.

    Brewers 17, Rockies 9

    March 12, 2005. In

    Rockies Win!

    March 11, 2005. In

    Rockies Win!

    March 10, 2005. In

    Rockies Win!

    March 9, 2005. In

    Rockies Win!

    March 8, 2005. In

    Rox Beat Royals 8-7

    March 7, 2005. In

    Buried By Texas 16-1

    March 6, 2005. In

    Rockies Beat Angels 7-6

    March 5, 2005. In

    Rockies Fall

    March 4, 2005. They had a chance, but that old familiar song began playing in the late innings as the relief pitchers failed to hold the White Sox, who surged to a 7-5 victory in the Rockies spring home opener at Hi Corbett field in Tucson.

    Rockies Win!

    March 2, 2005. In the first contest of the 13th and final season for Colorado Rockies baseball, the team cruised to an easy 8 to 4 victory over the Chicago White Sox. Third baseman Jeff Baker was the hitting star for the Rocks, with a 3-run homerun in the 9th. Baker, Clemson teammate of San Diego rookie sensation Khalil Greene, hit .321 with 15 homeruns while splitting the season between single A Visalia and double A Tulsa in the Rockies farm system in 2004.® Losers for 2004

    First Place: Archie, Peyton, and Eli Manning

    The beginning of the year found these three geniuses trying to quietly hold the National Football League and the San Diego Chargers hostage by telling them that Eli Manning, the projected number 1 draft pick, would not play for San Diego if they drafted him. They wanted the NFL to discreetly arrange for Eli to be drafted by a more acceptable team, i.e. one in a bigger media market and a better chance to make it to the Super Bowl than the Chargers, who had a 4 win, 12 loss record in 2003.

    Predictably, the NFL and the Chargers took offense at the sheer audacity and greed of the trio, and made the whole thing public, humiliating the Mannings. Then, all three Mannings publicly stated that the Chargers were not only the worse team in football, but were also liars and charlatans, and that Eli would never allow them to draft him.

    The next picture we saw, of course, was a smiling Eli holding up a Charger jersey as the team announced his selection as the first pick of the 2004 draft.

    Later that day, the Chargers laughed again, as they traded Eli to the New York Giants for a package of players and draft picks that could only be described as robbery, grossly in favor of the Chargers. 

    Later that year, the Giants proved to be a poor team, especially so with Eli at quarterback, where his record stands at 1 win and 6 losses as of the end of the year.

    Still later that year, Peyton and his team, the Indianapolis Colts, barely managed to beat the Chargers with a combination of home field advantage and miraculous lucky breaks, in overtime, by a field goal, putting to rest the Manning’s contention that the 12-4 Chargers are a grossly inferior team. Ironically, had Eli played for the Chargers, this would probably have been a triumphant moment for the family, with the two leading quarterbacks in football, and brothers, going head to head on the road to the Super Bowl. Instead, experts are predicting that Eli will never be a top quarterback because the Giants system is not designed to feature that position (coincidentally San Diego’s system does feature the quarterback, and Eli would have been given the starting job).

     To add insult to injury, Peyton Manning surpassed the mark for number of touchdown passes in a season, but experts are saying that record is tainted because new rules this year make it much more difficult for teams to defend the pass. As a further irony, the all-time touchdown wizard couldn't manage even one in the 20-3 blowout playoff loss to the Patriots, even though both of the Pat's starting cornerbacks were injured and did not play, and one of the safeties usually plays wide receiver.

    Second Place: PeopleSoft

    PeopleSoft, a vendor of mediocre-quality ERP software, had maybe the worst year in corporate history by a company that didn’t go out of business. ERP, by the way, stands for Enterprise Resource Planning, a euphemism for a complete company software system that provides programs to control virtually everything from Accounting to Manufacturing to Payroll, etc.

    PeopleSoft started the year out by buying a smaller competitor, and paying way too much, weakening the company financially. Then they spent the rest of the year stubbornly fighting off a takeover bid by a much larger company, Oracle. Fighting the merger cost the company over a billion dollars in sales and millions in legal fees, not to mention the damage done by neglecting their customers, shaking up their management, and destroying their public image. They eventually lost anyway and were taken over by Oracle, at a lower price than some of the previous offers, thus costing their stockholders even more money. Oracle promptly fired most of PeopleSoft's management.

    Other than that, PeopleSoft had a great year.

    Honorable Mention: The Colorado Rockies, for obvious reasons.

    Bye, Tug. We'll Miss You
    January 6, 2004. Tug McGraw, the guy with the cherub-face and the million dollar smile, who couldn't stop beating his knee with his glove, or making the big pitch when it counted the most, is gone. He died yesterday at his son, Tim McGraw's home in Nashville, of brain cancer at age 59.
    These days, with everyone screaming about Pete Rose, more time should be devoted to guys like Tug, who will never be in the Hall of Fame, but provided many of the Hall of Fame moments that make baseball the kind of game that continues to pull at the heartstrings of its fans, young and old, in spite of the slimy antics of many of it's protagonists like Rose and the Rockies management, to name but a few.
    So long, Tug. I, for one, will miss you a lot.


    Edited by Gregory F. Hill

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